Confession of a lost soul

No, please do not hurry in judging that this post gonna be about some scary lost spirits or ghosts. Well, to be honest I would like to share a confession here.

…” I get so blind when I am angry and I do response so insanely”…

For any reason when I get angry and feel disappointed, I lose my temper easily and would start attacking my love ones, no matter who they are and how old they are. I am acting rather rashly in response to someone else's hasty maneuvers. A conversation as follow is always going on in my mind, which is between “Me” and my “Imaginary Peace Angel”.

Me: Oh no, how he/she has dared to say such a thing to me, huh? How?

IPA: Calm down Mahsa, he/she didn’t say such a bad thing. Yeah it was not nice, but you can get over it.

Me: No, why should I get over it? I will show him/her who am I!

IPA: Hey Mahsa please think before you make any sudden moves. Do you remember what happened the other time that you opened your mouth and said such things that a second after you regret it. Do you remember?

Me: Well, yeah, I do remember it. But this time is different. He/she should respect me. I am not a stupid girl.

IPA: But you are good friends. Remember the nice moments that you have shared, do not break everything, think more on it and discuss it later when your anger is gone.

Me: Um, Why should I always forgive people? Why should I always take the blame on me? Why should I always be nice while others are not so to me? I am sure that both of us are making mistakes.

IPA: I didn’t say forgive anything or sacrifice yourself! I am just saying think before say a word. You know it better than me that your heart and brain are saying something opposite to your mouth. You always say something rashly and then regret it. Better not say it or be that strong to be proud of what you have said and do not regret it. But I know, you have a kind heart.

Me: Well, you are right. But just let me tell him/her that lablala….

IPA: See, what did you do?! Now you made a simple disagreement to a bloody fight!

Me: :(( Yeah so badly true, I am shaking and have started to cry a bit. What should I do now? Why did I say that? I love him/her. I just wanted …. :(.

IPA: Ok, Before it is going worse, say something like, that you didn’t mean it that way, say sorry and something like that and try to heal it.

Me: Yeah, Ok, But….

IPA: Stop that “BUT, BUT, BUT…”. I told you, think before say something.

Me: It worked, I made it better. I am really shaking. Thanks dear. But couldn’t you help me a bit earlier when I was about start getting mad?

IPA: Mahsa you would be amazed at what incredible things can develop if you simply use your head first. You never can change people, just accept them the way they are and do not hurt your love ones when you do not really mean it. You are an emotional girl. I know you, you can not sleep at night when you feel you have bothered someone unintentionally. Just control your rashly responses when you get angry for any reason and everything ganna be fine.


M.M